The Page Which Is Going To Glastonbury
Tuesday April 05 2005
Making Money From The Dead
With Liverpool facing Juventus this week for the first time since the Heysel disaster, it was inevitable that the media would be awash with features on the disaster.
And that top of the bill in any retrospective feature is inevitably Phil Neal.
Or at least he was for Sky Sports News' 'Remembering Heysel' feature. A picture of sorrow, 'he remains haunted by the horror of the night' viewers were informed as Neal was shown sitting in the garden of his Liverpool home. The feature concludes with the sombre words 'Heysel shamed football and leaves a scar on all those present...', culminating with a shot of Neal tending to his lawn.
Such an impression was certainly enhanced by Neal's interview with The Observers Jamie Jackson in which he was asked for his comments.
Neal: I'd rather forget that night. It was an ordeal. But, Jamie, why should I help you out? I'm helping you pay your mortgage [by talking to you about Heysel]. When people ask me for my view, they usually have to pay for it. You're asking for my help for nothing. To pay your mortgage, Jamie. I mean, what do you want from me?
Observer: I just thought that as the captain of Liverpool football club on that night at Heysel it would be good to hear your view?
Neal: Yes but what do you want from me? If I talk to you for a few minutes, then I'm helping you pay your mortgage and what am I getting in return? Do you know what I mean?
Observer: Well, I have been to Italy and talked with some of the families of the victims and they say that the trophy should be given back by Juventus to commemorate what happened.
Neal: About Juventus? Why are you asking me? Why are you asking someone on the Liverpool side? Juventus made amends very soon. Ask them ... Jamie I'm helping you pay your mortgage. People who want my views pay.
Observer: I'm sorry, but everyone else I have spoken to has...
Neal: Great. So you've spoken to people, you've got your views. You've got your Liverpool view, but if you want mine for free, well people pay for them.
Still, how decent of Neal to show Sky Sports News around the garden for which his reflections on the death of 39 souls presumably helped finance.
Definitely Maybe
Declares BBC Radio Five Live analyst Paul Elliott:
"Shevchenko is without doubt probably one of the best strikers in the world at the moment."
You Just Tee Them Up&
Categorically reports The Sun: SOCCER star Paul Gascoigne has been arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive.
To be fair, he's been unfit since 1991 so the great man could be in serious trouble...
Spot The Difference
'Gordon Strachan is set to take over as Portsmouth manager in the next 48 hours' Daily Mail 'Exclusive'.
'Portsmouth will turn to former Aston Villa boss John Gregory to save them from relegation. Gregory is set to make a sensational return to the manager's seat at Fratton Park within the next 48 hours' Daily Mirror 'Exclusive'.
Honest Behaviour
According to Sky Sports, 'The FA are to study referee Barry Knight's report of Lee Bowyer's fight with Kieron Dyer.'
What are they expecting? A blow-by-blow account? Unless Knight has eyes in the back of his head, and is a boxing fan, it's unlikely.
Could they not just watch the fight on the tele like everybody else?
Appropriate Quote Of The Day
"Lee's put his hands up and accepted the fine," - David Giess, Lee Bowyer's agent.
Prescient Kieron
"It has been a roller-coaster season, with massive highs and massive lows but there's so many highs at the moment and hopefully that will continue through to the end of the season" Kieron Dyer, March 29.
We've Heard It Said
Reports The Times:
Sources confirmed that there was no history of disagreement behind the clash, nor was there a racial element.
Would those 'sources' be Kieron Dyer and his exclusive interview with The Daily Mirror in which he insisted: "There is no question that the fight was sparked by racial abuse from him. That is categorically not the case. It was just a silly argument about not passing the ball to him. It was a flare-up out of nothing."
Meanwhile, following his swift retraction after claiming that Bowyer and Dyer have "had a laugh" about their contretemps, will Souness also be issuing a clarification regarding his comment a week ago that:
"Our current midfield is full of intensity and they play at such a high tempo that opposing teams do not know how to handle them. we have real energy in there, and a bit of class as well. If I were an opposing manager playing against Newcastle United, I would be worried when I looked at the midfield."
Guess Who
Writes you-know-who in his weekly column for The Times:
'It is not the first time Bowyer has lost his head, and in that sense I can relate to him. I wont pretend Im all holier-than-thou, or even holier-than-Bowyer. In 1984 I played for Gillingham. We won 3-2 at Brentford and, after a couple of pints, my first wife and I headed out to the car. I was feeling a bit peckish and there was a chippie close by. I went in and three Brentford fans started giving me stick. They got really abusive and one of them said something to my wife. Red-mist time. Right, I said. "Come on then." Jacket off; fight on; pie and chips spilt everywhere. We set to it in the streets outside Griffin Park, bouncing off cars and landing punches until we were dragged apart.'
Knowing Your Readers
The last paragraph of Jeff Powell's Heysel piece certainly proves he knows his Daily Mail readers: 'I do hope it is seen by every drunken thug, every belligerent yob, every foul-mouthed, pot-bellied lout who kicked and bullied football down the long road to Heysel...'