The Page Which Thinks Sinclair Is Funnier Than Skinner
Wednesday April 27 2005
Just one of those things thats very funny, although you can't work out why&
Understatement Of The Day
"There are no players like him in Spain" Mikel Arteta on Duncan Ferguson.
Lets Just Have That One Again
The best bit of The Daily Mirrors account of Rio and the lovable Jody Morris night out on Monday:
'"We were rolling around brawling. Jody Morris jumped into the fray and landed on top of me. There were kicks and punches everywhere at this point. Some of the Tube workers tried to pull us all apart. Morris lost it and started screaming at me, 'I'm going to kick your head in.'
'"I said, 'Don't be silly Jode'. He replied, 'You don't know me. I'm going to kick your head in'. I said, 'Can I quote you on that?' He shouted three more times, 'I'm going to kick your head in'.'
As reported elsewhere on F365, it goes without saying that the natural reaction to a threat of being beaten around the head is to check the quote for a future tabloid beat-and-tell.
Changing Times
Reports Tuesday's edition of The Times:
'Michael Carrick, the midfield player, believes that he made the right decision in joining Tottenham despite interest from Arsenal.'
Erm, would this be the interest that ended a month before Carrick made his move to the second-best team in north London? Mediawatch, for one, recalls reading a rather different account of Carrick's feelings on the subject of his aborted transfer to Highbury.
'Asking Michael Carrick to explain how he felt when a move to Arsenal collapsed, now that he has signed for Tottenham Hotspur, was never likely to reveal more than the obvious,' ran one report on the subject. 'The midfield player admitted to having been "disappointed"'.
The source of that tale of woe? Er, The Times on August 25th 2004.
Elsewhere, Tuesday's paper also brings news that 'Harry Redknapp, the Southampton manager, it is thought, has concerns over the quality of his squad.'
No s**t, Sherlock. Theyre bottom of the league.
A Commanding Lead
Reports the BBC website: ' O'Sullivan Shines Against Ebdon - Ronnie O'Sulllivan holds a commanding 0-0 lead over Peter Ebdon in his World Snooker Championship quarter-final'
One Rule For You,&
It's been at least a day since Newcastle were subject to some unsavoury press, but fortunately chairman Freddy Shepherd has come to the rescue by proudly declaring that club captain Alan Shearer is ready to knock team-mate Craig Bellamy's 'block off'.
"Bellamy has taken on a hero in Alan and there is only one winner of that one. And it is not Bellamy," declares Shepherd.
Presumably, following his "disgust" and outrage at Lee Bowyer trying to knock the block off another of Toon's lovable reprobates, a crime for which he contemplated sacking Bowyer before making the player "go on his hands and knees" to plead forgiveness, Shepherd will be taking the equivalent recourse against Shearer, perhaps forcing the player to make another public apology before stripping him of the captaincy?
No? Thought not.
In Good Company
The great and the good who appeared at the Labour Partys pre-election rally in Cheshire on Tuesday night were led by the actress who plays Vera Duckworth in Corrie, Craig from Big Brother, and former Liverpool coach Phil Thompson.
Quite what it says about Britains poisonous cult of personality and the facade that passes for a democratic election in this country that Labours marketing machine believes that the views of such luminaries carry some weight and influence with the public at large is a debate for another depressing day.
Howard's End
Conservative Party leader and Liverpool supporter Michael Howard has an intriguing perspective on his party's current shortfall in the polls.
"You often find if you are a football fan there is a team that might be two goals down at half-time, they win the game. I went to the Carling Cup final a few weeks back to watch my team Liverpool play Chelsea. We were ahead until the last ten minutes and then we were screwed. So the election is not over until May 5 and I am confident we can win."
Alas for Mr Howard the prognosis on that basis isn't particularly cheery for the Tories. Rather than being an often occurrence, The Times calculated that from the 214 occasions a side was leading 2-0 at half-time in the Football League and Premiership last season, only in five matches did the opposition go on to win the match.
To put that another way, using Howard's comparison, the Tories have a 2.3% chance of winning.
So not far different from Liverpool's chances of winning the CL, then.
Headline Of The Day
'Mourinho not concerned about Sars' The Evening Standard. 'Sars' being the French ref, not that illness thingie...
Quote Of The Day
"The way Liverpool played against Juventus showed clearly how a team can be organised to get results, in the same way that we went to Munich. Maybe Rafa and I have shown how to do it because we work in English football and it is good for everyone. We should be proud and happy in this country because we already know that we have an English team at the final in Istanbul" Jose Mourinho.
Rumour Of The Day
'Gerrard has even instructed SFX, his representative, to avoid discussing his future with him until the end of the season' The Times.
Runner-Up
Celtic striker Craig Bellamy has been ruled out of action for up to three weeks with a hamstring injury The Daily Telegraph. So plenty of time to sit around the house and send Big Al a few thoughts!