The Page Which Bought A New Driver Last Night For Sixty Of Your Sterling That Goes Like An Exorcist Missile. Only Further
Friday April 15 2005
No Further Comment
From Sky News's 'If I were Prime Minister' feature:
'I would disband parliament and give myself a year to choose a hundred people to run the country and turn it into a successful business. And I'd bring back the death penalty" - Jimmy Hill.
(Boom boom: Well, Jimmy was a right-winger during his playing days....)
Doing What He Does Best
'Stan Collymore has landed his film debut as a groper who sticks his hand up Sharon Stone's skirt in a car,' reports The Daily Mirror.
So all that dogging stuff was merely in the interests of 'research' then...
Mark My Words
Declares the Channel 5 commentator mid-way through the first-half with Newcastle one-nil up against Sporting Lisbon and apparently cruising through to the semis:
"A draw is all they need, with that one goal you can't see any possible result that will put Newcastle out; 1-1,even 2-1...I don't see Newcastle conceding three."
How about four?
Love And Hate
March 7 Graeme Souness: "We have a love-hate relationship; I love Laurent Robert, he loves me and then we bash each other up."
April 13, Laurent Robert: "Are we better this year than last year? No, I don't think so. "Are we the same? No, probably worse. There is no communication and the manager does not speak to me face-to-face to tell me why he keeps taking me off. He does not tell me when I am playing well and he does not tell me when I am playing badly, and neither does his staff."
April 14, Graeme Souness: "Once again we have had to take our eyes off the ball because of the selfish attitude of one of our own players. We have been sidetracked by a selfish player at a time when this club is playing its two most important games for 35 years, and that is totally unacceptable&When Laurent Robert plays like that, he always seems to blame someone else. What he has to do is to look at himself first and, if he is not playing well, he should try harder."
Mediawatch may not be fluent in matters of the heart, but it believes this could be the 'bash each other up' phase..
Going Cheap?
Buy Ian Holloway's Jag on Ebay
What Is The World Coming To?
Virgin Radio referred to Steven Gerrard as the 'G-Force' on Friday morning.
It All Adds Up
From the Football365 frontpage on Friday morning:
'Dyer: We shot ourselves in the foot''
And:
'Loony Toon Face Injury Crisis'
What else did they expect?
You Dont Say
RTE 2's George Hamilton has been getting in on the 'Omens for Liverpool' act:
"27 years ago the Pope dies, Wales achieved the Grand Slam in Rugby and Liverpool were beaten in the league cup final by the eventual winners of the league cup...."
Spurs Latest Genius
Following on from their ingenious ploy of persuading Spurs fans to buy a new kit every year in the interests of 'choice and variety', Martin Jol has revealed the reason why Jermain Defoe deserves to win the PFA Young Player of the Year award.
Because Spurs are s**t.
!I think he deserves this award," Jol declared. "It's easier for the others because they play for the top sides. For Jermain it's a bit more difficult."
But don't scoff. If this ploy is successful then for years to come Spurs will be able to tell any prospective signing: 'You wont win any trophies at Spurs, but this will enable you to win a few more personal awards. Tempted?'
Headline Of The Day
'It's Souicidal for Magpies' The Sun
Runner-Up
'Robert likely to take wing after attack on Newcastle' The Times
Abbreviated Headline Of The Day
'Pennant Zlams Arse' From Football365
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Dyaster' The Daily Mirror. Were suspecting a hasty rewrite after Dyer's first-half goal put the Toon in a seemingly unassailable position.
Quote Of The Day
"Chelsea have not won the league yet have they? So I don't think you can say Chelsea are the best team. Of course I would say Chelsea are in the top three. But I wouldn't say they're the best. Even if they win the league this year I still wouldn't say they are the best" - Ashley Cole. Yes, but what will you be saying when you join them in the summer?
Rumour Of The Day
'Manchester boss Sir Alex Ferguson wants top young Spanish right-back Sergio Ramos Garcia to be Gary Neville's long-term replacement' The Daily Mirror. Bet he hasnt got a bushy moustache like our Gary, though.
Non-Football Rumour Of The Day
'Britain throws away £20bn worth of unused food every year - equal to five times our spending on international aid and enough to lift 150 million people out of starvation' The Independent.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters: Dylan Sharpe, Matt.
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