OLD COMIC STRIP OF THE WEEK: STARK - MATCHWINNER FOR HIRE
Appeared in: Scoop, then Roy Of The Rovers
Main character: Mercenary striker John Stark, who hired out his services on a game-by-game basis. His card read: Matchwinner For Hire. £1000 Per Match Plus £250 Per Goal - No Payment For Lost Game.
Typical storyline: Although Stark has continued his usual nomadic ways in the league campaign - being drafted in for derby matches and relegation four-pointers, that kind of thing - he's been playing for little Widdlesbrook Wanderers in every round of the FA Cup since the first... and now the Fourth Division side are in the semi-finals, 90 minutes from Wembley. However, they've been drawn against mighty Liverton - and when the First Division side's crack striker Donald McMalcolm breaks his leg the week before the game, the big club's bosses make Stark an offer they can't refuse. He must play for them, or they'll call in old debts and shut brave Widdlesbrook down forever. Reluctantly, Stark plays against his mates and cracks in a first-half hat-trick at Hillsborough to put the giants within sight of the Twin Towers. But thanks to a super-secret sub-clause he's cleverly inserted in his contract, he's able to come out for the second half in Widdlesbrook colours and crack in four to put the minnows in, frankly, dreamland. This sort of thing happened every single week...
Unanswered questions: How come such a far-fetched series lasted so long? After all, we all know there's no such thing as a mercenary footballer...
Plot development we'd like to have seen: Stark enters a time machine and emerges in the 1990s. Using a felt-tip pen, he hastily amends his card to read: '£50,000 Per Match Plus £15,000 Per Goal. Full Fee For A Lost Game. It's Not That I Don't Trust You, Terry, But This Offer Is Not Open To Crystal Palace'.
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