Alright, my fellow football fanatics, let's tackle this one! So, a standard soccer match is like a pizza, divided into two halves of 45 minutes each. That's a total of 90 minutes of non-stop action! But wait, we can't forget about that precious halftime show where one can sneak a bathroom break, so add another 15 minutes to that. And if the game is tied, there's a possibility of extra time and penalty shootouts, making the suspense last even longer. So, get your snacks ready, it's going to be a long ride!